Book Excerpt (Page 2)

The following article has been exerpted from
Dr. Gene Landrum's newest book,

In most cases, the potential of these superstars was not recognized until they reached exceptional levels of achievement; in many cases their opinions and aspirations were ridiculed, and in some cases they, themselves, were persecuted for their difference. En route to eminence, these renegades faced opposition, discrimination and denigration. Their ability to persevere was empowered by regarding their difference as an asset, rather than a liability. They trusted their instincts and marched to the tune of their own drummer. Valuing their difference from others enabled them to push through adversity and reach new heights never before imagined. In so doing, they blazed the trail for the generations to follow, leaving their footprints in the sands of time.

What Drives Us to Fit In?

From the time we are born, society gives us guidelines to follow, indicating which behaviors are acceptable and which are unacceptable. Ralph Waldo Emerson explained in his Essays: First Series:

Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood [and womanhood] of every one of its members…The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. [Society] loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.

A system of rewards and punishments are established to encourage us to serve and support the existing social order. This structured indoctrination is a necessary part of building a social order that allows for a stable and sustainable civilization. Without this structure, anarchy would prevail. Indeed, it is the indoctrinated multitude who form the backbone of a society, maintaining the social structure and perpetuating its values. However, this pervasive indoctrination exacts a toll on the autonomy of the individual that becomes evident early in a child’s life.

Childhood educator and psychologist Paul Torrance said, “Most kids begin life with a creative spark, but have it knocked out of them by the 4th grade.” Schools, like most institutions, promote the status quo. Don’t rock the boat. Sit and do what I say. Don’t be different. If you aren’t prepared to program your own journey, it will be programmed for you and that program is for journeys into orthodoxy and conventionality.

By the time they reach puberty, most children have become accustomed to surrendering their individuality to the collective will. We see this most transparently in the behavior of adolescents in their peer group. Insecure in their quest to assert their independence from the adult world, these youngsters follow slavishly the behaviors and fashion dictates of a harshly judgmental and ruthless peer group. It’s a mini-society, not unlike that depicted in Goldring’s Lord of the Flies, that punishes difference with ostracism, ridicule and sometimes violence. These pre-teens and teenagers learn quickly what brand names are acceptable in clothing and what behaviors are considered “cool.” Individuals violate these norms at their own peril.

Submission to group norms follows these adolescents into adulthood, residing quietly beneath a veneer of confidence as they age. The workplace reinforces the importance of fitting in. Those who are not perceived as team players are regarded as mavericks and either purged from the staff or passed over for promotion. The contestants on Donald Trump’s television production The Apprentice who are not regarded as team players are shown the door and told, “You’re fired!” Similarly the individualists on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart are dismissed with the tagline, “You just don’t fit in.” Such are the punishments that encourage us to conform.

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